im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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