y did u give ur computer a hand job?
North Korea, Best Korea!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize