In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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