If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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