After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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