there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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