I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
