HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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