boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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