the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
