i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
