I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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