FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
