I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
