I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
