I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
