If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
