69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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