girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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