Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
