Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
