How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm eating all of the evidence.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
