so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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