What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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