i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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