Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
