Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
