yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize