i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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