I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
