That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
