It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize