they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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