At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
