Me too!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
