seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize