I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
well you can't waste a boner
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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