Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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