I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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