you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
send nudes
from the living room?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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