omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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