Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He felt like a one man threesome
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
