good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
