literally had 100 drinks last night.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She even gives head with a lisp.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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