I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
