I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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