You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
