did you get engaged???
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
