Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sext me about skeletons
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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