So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
