i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
