fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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