the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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