I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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