I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
