Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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