Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
